


figure it out

by typhiria



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crying, M/M, Pre-Relationship, heads up there's some self-loathing here, no beta we die like Glenn, roommate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 03:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21154505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typhiria/pseuds/typhiria
Summary: felix gets the onion tears real bad





	figure it out

**Author's Note:**

> it took me an hour and a half to cut six onions earlier and then this happened

When Sylvain makes it home, Felix is crying.  
  
Sylvain doesn't catch on right away, of course. He's had a long day at work dealing with idiots who just don't get it and he's fucking tired and if he has to wear that fucking uniform for another second he's gonna scream. So he turns on some music and changes, waiting for Felix to tell him to turn that shit off, it's terrible.  
  
But Felix doesn't say anything.  
  
Sylvain finds him in the kitchen, knife in hand, an array of vegetables fallen to his blade before him. "Hey," he says, because sneaking up on someone who has a knife has never been a good idea, and even Sylvain's figured that one out. "What'cha makin'?"  
  
Felix doesn't move.  
  
Sylvain approaches, slowly, taking care not to stand too close. This is another thing he's figured out, how Felix likes his personal space. There's an onion half-diced on the cutting board, and now the tears leaking out of Felix's eyes make sense. "Want me to do that?"  
  
"No." Felix starts cutting into the onion again. "Fuck off."  
  
Sylvain knows he doesn't mean it, has never meant it. "Come on, let me help. You can't even see straight." He does not reach for the knife.  
  
Felix's eyes screw shut. "I said fuck off."  
  
Sylvain really wishes he'd put that fucking knife down. He waits, not giving any ground but not closing in either. "When have I ever fucked off when you wanted me to?" He's not entirely sure why that makes Felix flush all the way to his ears, but he likes it. "It's an onion, not the end of the world. Let me help."  
  
Felix puts the fucking knife down. "Fine."  
  
Without saying a word, Sylvain steps in and finishes dicing the onion. He's figured this out, too, how rubbing it in when Felix fucking relents for once never, ever, fucking helps. Making sure to put the knife down, he turns to Felix.  
  
"It's unfair," Felix says.  
  
Sylvain blinks. "What is?" he asks, even though he's pretty sure he already knows. There's still so much he hasn't figured out about Felix, after all.  
  
Felix drags a sleeve across his eyes. "Do your eyes even hurt?"  
  
"You did most of the work," Sylvain says. It's true. Then he realizes he's standing in Felix's way and steps aside. "Want me to help with anything else?"  
  
Felix reclaims the knife. "No."  
  
Sylvain's pretty sure he's lying. "I'll just hang out, then. I like watching you cook." He could watch Felix do just about anything and be happy, but he's not gonna tell him that when he's got a knife.  
  
Felix points the knife at him. "Out."  
  
Sylvain's figured out how this goes. Felix kicks him out of the kitchen, first. Later on he shoves a plate of something way too fucking spicy in Sylvain's face, and Sylvain complains only a little, because Felix always brings him a glass of milk too. Tonight, though? Sylvain wants to push a little. "No."  
  
Felix relents. "Fine."  
  
That was too easy. Sylvain backs off, watches Felix slide everything into a pan, watches him smile just a little bit before he dices another pepper and tosses that in too. That's fine. Sylvain figures he's earned some suffering tonight. He doesn't say anything, though, because there are limits to what he can take.  
  
"Here." Felix shoves a plate at Sylvain.  
  
No milk this time. Fine. Everything's fine. Sylvain takes a bite. Fuck. Everything's not fine.  
  
Felix watches him, waiting.  
  
Sylvain keeps eating, because what the fuck else can he do, and then his eyes start watering and he figures it out. "You did it on purpose," he says, giving Felix something to figure out for once.  
  
Felix smiles.  
  
Sylvain lets the tears roll down his face. Look, he wants to say. I don't care if you see me cry. Instead he says, "I can't believe you," because he's an idiot for Felix and always has been. He deserves every second of this.  
  
"That's enough." Felix snatches the plate back, drops it in the sink. "I can't handle this."  
  
"Can't handle what? Making me cry?" Sylvain asks. He hasn't figured any of this out. Maybe he never will. He blinks the tears out of his eyes.  
  
Felix looks like he wants nothing more than to leave the room, the conversation, Sylvain's entire fucking life. "That look on your face. Like you think I'm punishing you."  
  
What? Sylvain can't keep up. "You... weren't?"  
  
Felix nearly throws open the refrigerator door and pulls out the milk, avoiding Sylvain's eyes. "It's a fucking habanero, not the end of the world."  
  
Sylvain watches Felix pour a glass, keeping his mouth firmly shut. That way he can't fuck everything up. Again. It took awhile, but he figured that out.  
  
Felix sets the glass down in front of Sylvain, waits for him to drink, sighs when he doesn't. "Drink it, asshole. It still hurts. I can tell."  
  
Sylvain drinks the milk. It helps. When did Felix get this good at reading him? "Thanks."  
  
Felix looks away. "Don't."

Sylvain still can't see straight, but he's figured out not to interrupt when Felix's trying to say something.  
  
"I'm." Felix stops, starts over. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."  
  
Sylvain has never heard Felix's voice go so... soft. He wants more. Fuck. "Of course I did." How could he not?  
  
"Stop doing that." Felix grabs Sylvain's hand. "I hate that."  
  
Sylvain's fucking stunned. Does Felix know what the fuck he's doing, he can't, of course he doesn't, he can't even look him in the fucking eye more often than not, what the fuck is he doing? Whatever Felix's saying now, it's not registering. Fuck. He's gonna be so mad. Sylvain forces himself to listen.  
  
"I'm your friend," Felix is saying. "And it fucking sucks to watch you blame yourself for every bad thing that happens to you. I know you're doing it right now."  
  
"Am not," Sylvain manages. Did his voice always sound like that? So... broken?  
  
"Don't lie to me," Felix says, and there's no edge at all.  
  
"It's hard," Sylvain admits. Fuck. Felix is going to make him cry for real. He focuses on his hand in Felix's. It's warm and so much better than everything else that's happening right now.  
  
"I know," Felix says. He squeezes Sylvain's hand.  
  
Fuck, that does it. He leans into Felix, forgetting himself, and Felix lets it happen. To his credit, Felix doesn't ask him to stop crying. Maybe he's figured out that won't help.  
  
It feels like hours before Sylvain gets his shit together. Maybe it was. He sniffles one more time before pulling away. "Felix, I..." He trails off. What the fuck was he supposed to say, after that?  
  
"Don't say you're sorry." Felix still hasn't released Sylvain's hand.  
  
"I'm not! I..." Sylvain swallows. This shouldn't be hard. "Thank you." He can't bring himself to look at Felix.  
  
Felix sighs. "Sure. Anytime."  
  
"I mean it! I'm glad you were here." Sylvain hesitates. Should he? Fuck it. "And, uh..." Maybe not?  
  
"And?" Felix prompts.  
  
Of course Felix won't just let that go, Felix has never let anything go in his entire life. "And... I like this." Just fucking say it, Sylvain. They're just words. You can say some fucking words. "Holding hands, I mean. We should do it more."  
  
Felix turns a shade of red Sylvain's never seen on him before, but he doesn't let go.  
  
Sylvain doesn't let go, either.


End file.
